I Feel...

I feel like an underachiever, well, not to that extent I suppose, but what I do feel like is average. I feel like an average Christian, an average friend and average student. An average Jo, with average wants and average passions. I often feel like that in comparison to all those around me. 

Often, perhaps people are lead to believe that I am a person who is often at extremes, but I simply don't feel that way about myself. I'm simply a normal person who sometimes has his head in the clouds dreaming of things that are as concrete as clouds. 

Perhaps one of the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard was that some people were born whithout wings. Others were. The most people born without wings can come to flying is to  be close to the ones with wings. Another was that not everyone was created equal. We are all to be treated equally, but not everyone is born equal. Does that mean that no matter what, losers will always be losers? Does that mean that I am not equal, no matter how hard I try, no matter how smart I work? 

Odd, they often say that birds of a feather flock together. I find that funny. If a camera were to capture me in my closest friends as birds, I think there would be a group of proud eagles with a single bightly colored parrot somewhere in the middle. Often, I feel like that. Scholars, winners, leaders, preachers. All of them close friends of mine. Why? 

Come to think of it all. The most comfortable person is in my own skin. The most comfortable person I am is when I am myself. Doing what I love, and loving every moment of it. Time and time again, I am ridiculed for being what I am. 

What am I? 

I think now more cheery. Maybe its the One Republic playing on my headset. Maybe its me tuning out from Linkin Park blasting from my friends laptop. 

Standards. Standards made by men, packs and cliches. By the "cool" crowd, by society by advertisements, glossy pages and movies. People, flightless or not are always compared to those standards. What can I do? Some standards are admirable some are not. Some are just down right silly. Standards. Sheesh... I despise them sometimes, behave like this, act like that, laugh at that. Excel at that excel at this, or else. Is your best enough? No. 

A person is the sum of his dreams. Is that true? Or is it not? What if she cannot reach her dreams? I think now with a lighter disposition, the grey floating around me is gone. What are dreams? In all honesty, I don't think I can reach some of my dreams, or are they truly dreams? Are they infact, simply goals put in place by standards? Are they just standards manufactured loftily by the commercial highest and the mightiest? If a person gives his best, what more is there to ask? 

Often I wonder, what I could beat the world at. What would I be the greatest at? I realise that my 16 year old self found the answer. Being myself, and no other. I'd like to see someone beat me at Josephing around.

Shmuck trying to be an eagle. I'm a parrot and I like it.