Monday, October 29, 2007

Unexpected expectance

Sharon walked bouncily in the kindergarten's friendly playgrounds, not knowing what awaited her, after all, she was new. While she still had her head turning on a swivel, inquisitively looking around at every new sigh that lay in store for her sweet, clear eyes. "Hey! I'm Sharon! What's yours!" With those simple words, friendships were made.

It didn't take Sharon all that long to become popular in that convention of children. After all, she was bouncy and happy. She often had a smile that brightened her teachers days and her classmates as well. She was often the fun child be around and whenever a person fell and hurt herself, she was there for her, wiping away her tears and making her laugh again. In the bright play grounds of Little Angels, she was happy.

However, she wasn't much with the boys. Frankly, at a time when girls were just yucky things that were fountains of tears with huge claws and boys were insects that gobbled the acidic slime that came from their noses, girls and boys simply did not mix. As a matter of fact. there was often a distinct line of separation, like a huge ocean between two warring nations, with a tiny island smack in the middle. The poor teachers had it tough whenever the warring nations decided to put their forminable battleships to sea.

Sharon got on wonderfully, however, things were about to change. Of late, there had been no brave male to challenge the overwhelming superiority of the female race when she came. The boys always cowered in fear and dared not to put disgusting spiders or covertly steal food from any ponytailed little girl who had forgetfully left her lunch out.

One day though, as Sharon was chatting gaily as she and her group of fellow female kindergartners strutted the colourfully painted halls, the red oak door of the kindergarten opened slowly. No one really bothered, the ladies were out in force, and the boys cowardly rushing out of the way. A woman stepped through the door way and so did a little boy holding her hand. Miss Madison half jogged to the door to greet the mother and son. The boy wandered around impervious to the gang of lollipop weilding females and blocked their paths. "What are YOU doing here?"
"What are YOU doing here?" He rebelliously replied. Sharon promptly stuck her lollipop into Johns nose as he simultaneously burst out into a fountain of tears. Miss Mary-anne and his mom came running to see what the matter was. Poor John muttering indistinct syllables through machine gun sobs and Sharon simply shrugged her shoulders. An interesting beginning.

From that day on, they became the best of enemies, the kindergarten became a war zone and no man's land of sorts. John had seemed be the boy's boy, he was there encouraging all the guys and often leading them in mock battles and forming no girls allowed clubs. Sharon,
realising the threat this possed formed her own no boys allowed clubs. Indeed when they were alone together, John would often start calling her a slime puddle and Sharon, typical of any girl her age would give him a curt upper cut and jack slam.

Time passed by and soon, both graduated to primary school. John doing what boys normally do, and being the fastest runner in the game of catching, he was untouchable. Guys were attracted to him and often never started their games unless he was around on the playground. Sharon developed a liking for art, drawing little birds and trees; helping to put play makeup on her friends. Girls loved her, she was so sweet and always stood up for them when a boy started calling them mean names. Nothing much did change, they still fought, each trying to beat the other in marks and question answering. As soon as both were left alone with each other, impassioned words of incredibly imaginative names flew from their mouths. John angrily screaming in his squeaky voice and Sharon screaming on top her lungs. Fights broke up all the time, ending with poor John muttering in between machine gun sobs and Sharon shrugging her shoulders.

By the time both were juniors in high school, Sharon was taller then John. John was around a good four inches shorter and always had to look up when he in debating contests with Sharon. Things in high school changed though, because odd things began happening to the tribes of male and female. The annoying slimy girls turned into, sweet, slimy annoying girls and the disgusting, pathetic boys became cute, disgusting, pathetic boys. John still hated the sight of Sharon and Sharon always laughed whenever she saw the shorter John always looking up at her.

However, one day, Sharon came to shool to see a group of guys standing sadly around. In the middle of the group was John. He sad and tearful, was shaking hands with a couple of the boys and giving them hi-fives. " Sorry guys, I gotta go, it'll be a year or two. I'll miss you guys, maybe even that horrible Sharon too. Don't start crying on me now all of you." Sharon was happy as she gaily shashayed to her group of friends who were all surprisingly not celebrating with her. She found her happiness short lived as a week later, her mom told her while she was with all her friends that they were shifting because of her dad's job.

Four years passed by, guys and girls began to make friends with each other in that high school. Laughing over old stories like when the girls beat up all the boys and threw them into the swimming pool. Then someone would mention how John was always there getting thrown in last for sticking up for the guys and how sharon was always at odds at him. All of a sudden they would be quiet, each remembering happy memories of John and Sharon screaming at each other. Memories of John with his machine gun sobs and Sharon's he-deserved-it shrug brought small smiles onto their faces.

Finally on the beginning of the last year of high school, when the once disgusting little boys had shot up, and become young men, and the icky girls had turned into sweet, attractive butterflies, a guy ran up to the gates of the high school. John and Sharon were coming back, coincedentially on the same day. John got down from his mom's car, a rugged six footer with chiseled good looks, slight tan skin and a lean, muscular stature. As he walked towards the gate and into a group of his old classmates, he gave each a huge hug and a playful punch on the shoulder. The girls gasped as they saw the huge change, the once slightly awkward looking John had grown into a stud. John then queitly slipped away into his old school which he had come back to. As he recollected memories while walking down the hallways lit by the soft white light of the morning sun, something stopped him. Walking down opposite him, there was this girl carrying an art folder, her large, black, eyes looking at him as well. John couldn't help noticing her graceful curves subtly shown by her white spaghettie strapped mini-dress and blue jeans. Her sweet yet startlingly beautiful, fair face and long black hair falling to her shoulders forced him to blink. Both of them stared shocked at each other for a moment before dazedly walking off wandering if what they saw were real.

John and Sharon were in separate classes. John studying science to become a lawyer and Sharon working on her art. They were always the best of their class throughout the year and both still were the most popular of their classes. Even though in the same school they rarely saw each other and even when they did they were often gazing absently into each others eyes from across the room, each never daring to talk to the other.

As the end of the year came, and the high school graduation dance rolled around the corner, the graduating students were required to find a partner. Sharon walked quietly in the corridor alone after she had said bye to her friends, she normally left late, working on her art works for the perfectionist she was. As she turned a corner, she found herself looking up into the dark brown eyes of a rather handsome fellow with wavy hair combed back. John was slightly taken aback as well, at the sight of beautiful young brunette, expecting nothing usual to happen as he took a break from his calculus practise.

"Erm, how are you?" John steadily said, not masking his shyness.

"Great i guess" Sharon replied shakily, nearly losing herself in his hazel colored eyes.

"Should i save myself the time and go get a band aid for my soon to be broken jaw?"

Sharon giggled and answered,"I'd rather not have to explain a puddle of salt on the floor"
Both enemies began to laugh, they were pleasantly surprised at the way they enjoyed each other's company. Sharon for once realising John was half a head taller than her and that the little boy that once irritated her had changed. John concluding that that pushy, hard hitting linebacker was now attracting his attention.

"Would you like to come with me for the dance?" John nervously asked.

"That would be nice" Sharon replied, softly. As John turned to leave, he realised that this was the girl that had almost murdered him in kindergarten.

Both looked forward to the prom three days away.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

A Hug

You know how sometimes you feel so utterly lost. Like you're walking around minding your wn buisness, suddenly, the feeling of sadness and worthlessness just hits you right in the gut. Feels as though you want to run, hide and escape from the encroaching flood of sad thoughts and hurts.

Its so normal, but then, the next thing, you catch sight of something that reminds you of what you think you are. The darkness seeps into your blood and clots at your throat. Blood rushes to your face as your eyes begin to water as memories and formed conclusions of yourself gather in your soul. The pain is grasping, sometimes dying, but sometimes reemerging, showing its disgusting pathetic head that slowly eats your heart away.

Do you know that feeling? I sorta do I guess. I was feeling quite normal that day, it seemed just like any other day. As i was walking around in class, i caught sigh of something, something that was just like anyother, but the memories and reaction it caused was different. I felt suddenly, a sense that something was lost, a panic of being who I am, I feeling of worthlessness gripped me. I needed to feel accepted and loved. To be told that everything was alright. It was as if i was a three year old kid on his first day in kindergarten.

I felt sad, desparingly. I wanted to walk off to someplace quiet to gather myself, to tell myself that I fine. I looked around ditractedly at the tables chairs and people, but sadness and that inadequate feeling still bound itself to my thoughts. Then I remembered something: God. It was as if I was reminded that God was my Father. My dad was just right next to me holding out his hands to comfort me. I realised that in moments of sadness, pain and hurts, in moments that bring tears to your eyes and moments that sear your heart. God's right there. Like a father hugging you and protecting you from everything else around you. Love that covers you from head to toe. The love of acceptance, being accepted unconditionally and knowing that you're worth so much to someone. All that in a hug.

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