A Hug

You know how sometimes you feel so utterly lost. Like you're walking around minding your wn buisness, suddenly, the feeling of sadness and worthlessness just hits you right in the gut. Feels as though you want to run, hide and escape from the encroaching flood of sad thoughts and hurts.

Its so normal, but then, the next thing, you catch sight of something that reminds you of what you think you are. The darkness seeps into your blood and clots at your throat. Blood rushes to your face as your eyes begin to water as memories and formed conclusions of yourself gather in your soul. The pain is grasping, sometimes dying, but sometimes reemerging, showing its disgusting pathetic head that slowly eats your heart away.

Do you know that feeling? I sorta do I guess. I was feeling quite normal that day, it seemed just like any other day. As i was walking around in class, i caught sigh of something, something that was just like anyother, but the memories and reaction it caused was different. I felt suddenly, a sense that something was lost, a panic of being who I am, I feeling of worthlessness gripped me. I needed to feel accepted and loved. To be told that everything was alright. It was as if i was a three year old kid on his first day in kindergarten.

I felt sad, desparingly. I wanted to walk off to someplace quiet to gather myself, to tell myself that I fine. I looked around ditractedly at the tables chairs and people, but sadness and that inadequate feeling still bound itself to my thoughts. Then I remembered something: God. It was as if I was reminded that God was my Father. My dad was just right next to me holding out his hands to comfort me. I realised that in moments of sadness, pain and hurts, in moments that bring tears to your eyes and moments that sear your heart. God's right there. Like a father hugging you and protecting you from everything else around you. Love that covers you from head to toe. The love of acceptance, being accepted unconditionally and knowing that you're worth so much to someone. All that in a hug.