The Power of Ness

There was a time when there was this bald dude who had hair all around his chrome of a dome. He thought it was immensely fashionable not to cut his hair and he wore it in locks. Not only that, he got this china fan and pulled it in a circle around his neck. Thus, he was christened shakespeare. Yes. The great great granddaddy of britney. He was initially known as William. However, when he shook up the world with his fantastic command of english, nobles demanded that he should be shook! The queen of English Elizabethan England, queen Ethan, bestowed upon him an honorable title, known as the shake. The E behind in his name? Use your imagination. Not only that, just like the title ceasar was given to some bald dudes with plants for toupees, shakespeare was given to some big shots with words (lerida de leon looi shakes peare for instance). Anyone who dares disprove my utterings of truth can fall on a britney.(spears)

Anyways. (you can stop revolving your eyeballs)

There was a time when the world did not fear the power of ness. Before ness, there was no awesomness, righteousness, lameness, goodness, wowness, oddness, loch ness, and a lotsness of other nessessness. People often cracked their limbs to show that their friends that what they said was lame. That forced most english users to develop british sarcasm, british accent and british humour, that way, all their friends didn't have to break their limbs because none of their friends understood what they were saying! People simply couldn't turn nouns, verbs or adjectives into nouns verbs or adjectives! (fellow homeschoolers, you know what i'm talking about)

Enter Shakerpeare. The great man of literary passion clenched his quill till he had to chill. However, chill he did not as frustration drove him to the limits writers block. Indeed, writers block seemed like a towering barricade backed my battalions of bodacious half naked dudes with crimson cloaks! He, when that divine light of inspiration flashed a single syllable before his eyes, realised what he must do. He climbed to the tallest tower, set his feet upon the pinnacle of literature, and screamed. LET THERE BE NESS! The heavens shook, the seas roared, chariots of fire played as the words of language lifted their syllbles to the golden sky and brought forth.


ness.

Men cried, women called them sissies. Queen Ethan of English Elizabethan England, her highness, bestowed the title "spear" upon him. Poor fella, was killed after he shouted, "hit me baby one my time" at Ethan. Not a good thing to say to a fella with a sword. (sorry, I couldn't help it)

Immense power was then given to the British. With the godsend suffix ness fitted to the back of high, their monarch was supreme. With the power of ness, their britishness and their englishness gave them the ultimate fire power to take on territory after territory after territory. Conquest was gargantuan. In the end, the sun never saw the English Empire sleep and men no longer had to break their limbs.