Owh!

I've often wondered where the dudes down at Lucas Arts stumbled on the fantastic idea to have a moon as a super weapon. It's sheer genius the idea of a looming moon with the ability to fire a gigantic spear of destruction at a hapless target!

Ok. You obviously weren't completely blown back by the sheer indescribable awesomeness of a super weapon moon.

Imagine, little Sith Jr. being bullied incessantly by some guy from the planet of Utapau.

Now, he's all grown up, raging, seething and still a little sensitive at the Utapau dude. However, I believe, he is plagued by insecurities, cannot look at himself in the mirror without crying, and constantly doubts his own abilities in the Force. With all these emotional baggages he's carrying around, he can't very well bring himself to strike down his bully can he? Considering you've got to be face-to-face in order to bring about that dramatic moment with his overgrown torchlight whizzing through the air.

So how do we work around this?

We build a death star.

that's right sugar.

Instead of having deal with the psychological agony of meeting his tormentor face to face. He flicks a switch. NO. FORCE flicks a switch, the beams charges up and KAPAU! No more Utapau!

But coming back to the question. Where on earth did the dudes get the idea to get of all things. A moon with a laser on it?

The answer.

The Kugelbunker.

This was made by the Nazis in World War two to be used as a personal bunker by the individual soldier. The soldier would sit inside his glorified hamster ball and shoot from the little hole that was quite artistically cut out from the sphere. Think about the Allies' surprise when they realized that hamsters where shooting them with machine guns from concrete balls. Problematic.

Also, if you haven't already noticed, the startling similarities between both pictures, the Deathstar and the Kugelbunker. Imagine Lucas walking around in the museum, probably thinking about a wicked super weapon for his upcoming film with a cheesy title. Possibly getting bored with the "apius man" section on the first floor, he shuffles to the war section and behold! He spots a ball with a hole in it!

His mind starts to churn, and an equation starts to form.

Ball+hole+super weapon= ?

A flicker of genius. And the Deathstar was born.

this probably isn't true, but owh wells.

Balli$tic$ Expert.

When I was a kid.

I WANTED TO EXPUNGE THE EVILS OF THIS WORLD WITH AN ARMY OF SUPER SLAYER ROBOTS.

No I didn't.

I know that any post with the words,"when I was a kid," does tend to cause friends to lapse into boredomination. So... I ACTUALLY WANTED TO DESTROY THE WORLD WITH SELF TAUGHT POWERS OF TELEKINESIS!

But seriously. When I was a kid, I built a ton of projectile launching guns. Most of them kinetically (big word for rubber-band) charged. There was just something diabolically fun about manufacturing a projectile launcher out of the decidedly innocent K'nex parts I was playing with. The rods would come together and the connectors would form a barrel. To provide the potential energy, a rubber band was fitted in the place where gunpowder would normally go. In other words, it looked a little bit like a brightly colored crossbow.

I kid you not, it was fun.

I'd build a house of cards. Not just any house of cards, but a very well engineered bunker. Armored on all sides with playing cards. Think, the Merrimack from the American Civil War.

The one on the left! To the left to the left! All your things in the box to the left!

Wisely setting up the bunker right next to my family's stereo system, I'd set up my particle accelerator thingy. Working on the different nooks and crannies, this simple and yet elegant weapon would present all sorts of diabolical opportunities for destruction. I would aim down the barrel of my weapon ensuring pinpoint precision instead of pin prick devastation. Then, my gleeful fingers would begin loading it with the ammunition of my choice, normally the first plastic rod I could lay my eyes on.

And just pound that thing with an arsenal of plastic! Drive stakes into the faux cement. Ensure its destruction. Each shot like an explosion from the barrel of a world war 2 battleship. Every blast ripping apart the exterior of the house of cards I had built for the sole purpose of destruction. If the weapon wasn't kinetically lethal enough, enhancements would be made, upgrading firepower, lethality and reloading speeds. Yes. I was a destructive child.

Punk'd.

Of course if I couldn't blow the thing up with my fusillade of plastic projectiles, I'd just walk over and Godzilla it to death. What's a child without an imagination having Godzilla in it?

Shucks, should have taken up engineering or something.

Jo

Laughed until he cried. With a friend.

Three times.

Love days like this.

Darth Vader.

I'm a fan of Star Wars. It's turned from something that dad used to watch on his first date with mom, to something relevant and ridiculously cool. Well, to me anyways. For instance, Adidas Originals with their Star Wars line of clothing and their advertisement featuring a tight Daft Punk's Vader's March remix. Makes you wanna drop it like Dee Vadah.

Darth Dog.

DV: Luke, I am yo daddy.

Luke: Fo' shizzle pa.

DV: Don't "fo' shizzle" me.

Both of them start to have a dance battle. Dee Vadah wows the crowd with his headspin.

One day, I shall own my very own death star, and rub it in the noses of every 40 year old kid who always wanted one. Then I'll head off to force Steve Jobs to give me my much deserved Ipad. And maybe a fifty dollar iTunes gift card while he's at it. I deserve the Ipad because I think its nice.

Here's the plan. Hijack Ikea and Microsoft. And force the suckers to make me some uber cool computer that combines Ikea's ergonomic sensibility with Microsoft's accessibility. I'll name it the Imic . I from Ikea and the Mic from Microsoft. Such a genius. Or name it the BILLY XP.

I'll make a whole aircraft carrier load of cash, and buy off the U.S government by somehow causing a run on the US dollar. With all my blingage in the bankage, I'll walk right up to Obama and demand he make Nasa build me a Death Star. If he doesn't, I'll bust a cap in his stimulus package, or whatever fiscal thing he's coming up with.

Once that's done, I'll force Stevie to give me a free Ipad. And that fifty dollar iTunes gift card.

Ranting aside. I need new shoes. I really want to get a shoe with a TIE fighter emblazoned on it but. Meh.

Aunty Rendang

The awesome lady I buy my Saturday Curry Rendang from.

My assignment was due, I sincerely had nobody to interview for my descriptive essay. If I couldn't hand something up, all manner of indescribably doom would befall me. Suddenly, it hit me when I was walking about worriedly in my Uni Campus. Why not interview the nice, warm aunty who sells me that gloriously familiar curry rendang every saturday? And so I asked her while buying my SatCuRendang.

"Can I interview you ah mak cik?"

"Can, but now I very busy. Come back at 4pm"

"Alot of people interview you ah?"

"Got," she says.

Wow, apparently I wasn't the only one who wanted to interview this culinary superstar. I bet I wasn't the first Malaysian/Singaporean arts student looking around for someone to interview. Oh wells. She's an experienced interviewee, I knew I was in for entertaining times.

So I met her for the interview in her coffee store. It's homely, warm and comfortable, with shelves lined with magazine. "Please buy if you want to read." Heh. That's why I bring my own magazine on saturday mornings.

The interview was awesome. She's everything a Malaysian aunty is. And more. I ask questions while scribbling furiously with my pen on paper. It's as though I'm in some indie movie documenting the aunties who sell SatCuRendang! She tells me about her husband who's an engineer working in Sinagporean Airlines, about her farm (a FARM?) and her life back in Singapore.

Her personality mimics her store, its warm and disarming. She is charming, in an auntie sort of way.

"I am super wife!" she says when she's describing her life at home.

As the interview came to an end, her sister or friend or her I-dunno-who-she-is-cause-I-didn't-ask walks over to say goodbye. Yes, Australian businesses close at five.

Their goodbye is hilarious! "OKAY! BYE! PIUP PIUP PIUP PIUP!" (mimicking air kissing noises)

Awesome interview. Saved my butt too.

Holls Have

Okay, they haven't arrived just yet. I still have one last assignment to do. But once it's done!

1) Have fun and look for friends.

2) Pick up new hobbeh.

3) Figure out what to do with myself.

4) Make this list longer.

I will be back!