Balli$tic$ Expert.

When I was a kid.

I WANTED TO EXPUNGE THE EVILS OF THIS WORLD WITH AN ARMY OF SUPER SLAYER ROBOTS.

No I didn't.

I know that any post with the words,"when I was a kid," does tend to cause friends to lapse into boredomination. So... I ACTUALLY WANTED TO DESTROY THE WORLD WITH SELF TAUGHT POWERS OF TELEKINESIS!

But seriously. When I was a kid, I built a ton of projectile launching guns. Most of them kinetically (big word for rubber-band) charged. There was just something diabolically fun about manufacturing a projectile launcher out of the decidedly innocent K'nex parts I was playing with. The rods would come together and the connectors would form a barrel. To provide the potential energy, a rubber band was fitted in the place where gunpowder would normally go. In other words, it looked a little bit like a brightly colored crossbow.

I kid you not, it was fun.

I'd build a house of cards. Not just any house of cards, but a very well engineered bunker. Armored on all sides with playing cards. Think, the Merrimack from the American Civil War.

The one on the left! To the left to the left! All your things in the box to the left!

Wisely setting up the bunker right next to my family's stereo system, I'd set up my particle accelerator thingy. Working on the different nooks and crannies, this simple and yet elegant weapon would present all sorts of diabolical opportunities for destruction. I would aim down the barrel of my weapon ensuring pinpoint precision instead of pin prick devastation. Then, my gleeful fingers would begin loading it with the ammunition of my choice, normally the first plastic rod I could lay my eyes on.

And just pound that thing with an arsenal of plastic! Drive stakes into the faux cement. Ensure its destruction. Each shot like an explosion from the barrel of a world war 2 battleship. Every blast ripping apart the exterior of the house of cards I had built for the sole purpose of destruction. If the weapon wasn't kinetically lethal enough, enhancements would be made, upgrading firepower, lethality and reloading speeds. Yes. I was a destructive child.

Punk'd.

Of course if I couldn't blow the thing up with my fusillade of plastic projectiles, I'd just walk over and Godzilla it to death. What's a child without an imagination having Godzilla in it?

Shucks, should have taken up engineering or something.