The Art of Spannaring Orang

The art of Spannaring, is an elegant social excersise designed to manipu.... steer your friend away the terrible mistake of dating and eventually marrying the woman of your dreams. It is considered and low, underhanded tactic and ploy that has the ability to break up a relationship or strengthen a friendship. If all goes well, a closer friendship will be built and a beautiful romance will begin. If all fails... never mind if it fails. It won't. Trust me.

The word Spannaring comes from the root word spannar, which is a tool used to screw bolts onto screws; fixing. The second word is Orang, meaning person. Therefore the word in its entirety would mean fixing people. There's nothing wrong with this, after all, you are "fixing" something wrong. In other words, its to split up a couple and go after the girl. Or guy.

Now let me place you in a scenario. Let's say your best buddy in the whole wide world, someone who pretended to be gay in midvalley just for laughs falls for, gasp, a hot girl. Not just any hot girl; the love of your life, the woman of your dreams, the ping to your pong, the tick to your tock, the play to your station. Well, you get the idea.

Naturally, you would be split right down the middle over what to do. The annoying little angle resplendent in the holiest attire would be bashing your brains with a bible screaming at you to lay off the couple. While that charming red faced, man U supporter would sweetly cajoling you to bash a hole right in the middle of their mislead romance. Here's a way out. Spannarkan mereka.

Its very simple, invite your best friend out to the mamak, get him to laugh, throw some hillarious jokes about the great and awesome times you guys had together. After a particularly good laugh at the finish of a brilliant mak rempit impersonation. Smile and say conviction. "Hey man, you've been my very bestest best friend for such along time, and i think you're an angel. I love you."

First he'll give you a very very "thats so gay" stare. Stare him down, be serious, there's time for fun and games later. This moment would mean if you're going to live out the rest of your day as a sad hespinster who makes wedding barbie from beer cans everynight before crying to sleep.

"I love you too man."

Thats the cue. " As your dear bestest best friend in the whole wide world including the universe, i'd protect you with my life. That girl you have... she's... actually a guy" Or whatever it takes to scare him off the girl in question. No one wants to date a girl who turns into a werewolf at night right?

Naturally, he'd go crazy. Calm him down.

" My bestest best best better than yesterday whom i adore, its okay to cry, here's my shoulder."

Phase one, done. Now for the girl

The lady would message you for emotional support assuming your already a friend. Listen to her, be nice, compassionate, sympathetic, all that mushy mushy bric a brac. Finally, after expelling all her intense feelings of hatred. When the time comes, she'll message,"sigh, u r such a sweet fren."

Strike.

Yeah, i'm ur fren, but maybe we can b more thn that... u noe, more thn frens? At this time, she would fall desperately into your arms clutching you and all that kind of xoxoxo hugz n kisses nonsense.

As for your friend. Your friend will definitely find out that she's not actually a guy, but thats okay. She'll be extremely mean to him because of the terrible way she treated her. That way, attractiveness will become subtractiveness and your best best friend in the whole wide world would spend his life thanking your for saving his love life. The art of spannaring is done.




Disclaimer. Spannaring is evil. This was written solely at the request of an evil person. Anyone who attempts to spannar is evil. Evil sucks. Don't be evil.