Not Very Sure.

   Honestly, I'd say that I don't have a great deal of confidence walking into rooms full of people. Its great when I'm with friends and I have nothing but the sole purpose of having fun; however, when there's some people I need to impress and I have no idea who they are. Problem.

  The feeling of self  consciousness sweeps over me. All of I sudden, I feel aware of how my arms are swinging, how I'm walking and how I'm breathing. I am immensely more aware of my more feminine upper features(man boobs) and religious bump(buddha belly) pushing through my shirt. Yeah, I become very self conscious. And very nervous. 

  I wonder, what will thing think of me? What are they thinking of me? Do they like what they see? What if they don't!? 

  Matters are made much worse when a person so much as looks at me with a bored look. The killing blow would be a finger pointed in my direction followed by a quiet snicker. It kills me, after catching a glimpse of myself being used as a subject of humor. Having no idea what to do; the only thought that enters my mind would be to run away. After the ordeal would be over, I'd  be sadly looking down on myself, finding all sorts of reasons as to why another person would look or behave that way towards me. 

  One day, God just said. "I'm with you." 

 You know. There are times when I've headed to a place I don't know to mix with a bunch of people I don't recognize. Most times, I would probably start panicking as all my knowledge of the english language disappears. At the end, I'd probably be sitting down chatting to someone who was as quiet and scared as I am. Then, an immensely popular friend of mine who happens to be in charge would come striding into the room. "Hey Jo! Sorry to keep you waiting! How are you!" He'd warmly greet me. 

  I'd feel the warmth of being accepted and the comfort of confidence seeping back into me. Just my friend was with me. 

   Months after I heard God, I panicked again. I was once again afraid to plunge into a room, just like I was wearing a really bright pink bra. God!? What am I supposed to do!!! My Friend whispered, "if I'm with you, that means when you enter that room, I'll enter too." At that point, I realized that there was no need to be afraid. As I walked quietly into the room, God entered with me. 

My Nipple.

   I have a mysterious allergy to a certain mystery food. My skin reacts, swells and turn annoyingly itchy when I scratch any area of my body. That tiny itchy spot then starts to begin its extremely agitating growth period. It being so itchy, I'll have this insatiable urge to scratch and scratch and scratch some more, and the diseased looking blob will grow bigger and bigger. My largest looked like and entire continent riding on an ocean of muscle(my back). 

  Well, sometime during the day, I felt a small itch on a peculiar part of me. So I absent mindedly gave it a little scratch. After about half an hour, there was this exquisite itch in my chest! To make matters worse when I checked felt around, it was right there on my nipple! Now guys, especially to the ones who are normally victims of nipple crunchers; the nipple is probably one of the the more sensitive and humorous bits of the male anatomy. Goodness me, it was beginning to itch quite a lot. 

   I scratched. Even though I shouldn't have, the insatiable annoying-ness just kept growing! 

  I wanted to run straight into my mothers arms for regfuge in her many ointments and safeguards amassed from experiences with a sickness prone child. However, being the manly He man/bad boy that I am, I simply refused to take my shirt off and show her my mutated, bloody red nipple. It looked like this giant bulls-eye! 

   Okays, cancel all past tenses, actually, my nipple is really itchy... right this very moment. I had wanted to go post about how some violinist dude gave me a lesson in humility but; have you ever tried to concentrate on something serious when an irritating little fly is bugging you? I can't think of anything else aside from how great my thirst to gloriously pull my fingernails across a certain funny spot is. 

  2 mins... 

" I'm still suffering and its slightly subsiding" 

  10 mins... 

  "ARGGH!! JUST GO AWAY ALREADY YOU LOUSY LOUSY ITCH!!"

  

  11 mins... 

  "mom...." 

   

   12 mins. 

   "stop laughing la! Its not funny!!!" 

   13 mins. 

   phew. Much better.  

                                                                                                 oh wells, now to think of a serious post. 

Steamed Foods.

I headed off to midvalley the today to check out, Kung Fu Panda! Hey yah! Fu chou!! Ya Ha! Woo Hoo! www.Yahoo.com!
But before actually heading into the cinema, i realised that i had this sudden craving for mushroom burger from Burger King. Wow, it was a craving alright, that explosion of foodlust floundering willpower in its hungry embrace.

There I was in that Burger King line with this caucasian woman who was about my height. I was panickedly searching for my love on those pearly glimmering posters that showed glorious indulgences depicted in blown up and exagerated photo's! Mmm.. there were so many good things! But once a man decides he wants that burger, he gets that burger! So, the nice cashier lady smiled at me and asked what I wanted to eat. Whithout thinking, I blurted, mushroom burger!(which was really overpriced and I could have survived whithout it but I didn't)

So there it was, mm... that falsely exotic taste of mushroom rubbing themselves delectably against my tastebuds and that hearty meat just messaging away my lust! Then I remembered, I was supposed to be eating healthy.

Yeap. I know, though fast food restraurants often sell us the idea of their foods being oh so healthy and wholesome, we're often smart enough to know its not normally the case. Sure cabbages may be healthy, but not when its dipped in vats full of rhinocerous killing preservatives. Potatoes may be good, but lets face it, who's eaten a potato chip and said, mmm... "this is great! I feel so healthy eating this!" Not many.

By right, I'm supposed to be watching my weight and eating really healthy food like steamed carrots and all sorts of nauseatingly healthy foods, but I'm not! Its just so difficult! Sure, avoiding mcdonadls is easy, but when you're huuunggrry... Its just that fanatical need and daredevil impulsive behaviour that drives you to pull out your wallet and pay your education fund for that double cheeseburger.

I'll cut to the chase. I need help to slim down. My future literally depends on it. Help!

Colours

I was lying awake after quite a satisying slumber from a lifepac packed day, and I thought about: colours. Then I wondered, why are we all so different? We're just different colours, but were still called humans no matter how different we look. In fact, I wondered, we pretty much are like colours.

Colour are well, wonderful, coming in so many diffferent shades to colour our lives. Blank pieces of paper simply come to life when colours on a brush start to paint the shapes that are formed in the artists mind. Some colours play big roles, others, not so big but just as important. Imagine if you were looking at the mona lisa and a part of that beautiful painting wasn't colored, and instead, was left with a blank patch, you'd think something would most definitely be wrong. In whole, the picture would be ruined, because something didn't fit, that uncolored blank spot. Thats what we are I guess, different colours in a picture.

There are so many types of colours, but blue can't say to orange that he's more important because he colours the sky, because orange can retort that she painted the sun. In my opinion, saying another colour pencil is more important than another colour pencil would just sound silly because a colour is still a colour.

Thats what we are, we're different colours, different people, different's personalities, different cultures, but we're all colours. Though we're in some ways different, we're still human and equaly important; we bleed the same blood, were born the same way and hold on to things most important to us. What's so different? We're all colors in the large picture of the world.

On The Way

I was heading off to midvalley with my parents when a song came on the Light and Easy channel. The playful and slightly bombastic detached piano notes caught my attention. I thought it sounded relaxing and was happy from the break of the usual power notes strung by a guitar. Then came her voice,"head on to water, and its easy, to breathe for awhile."(or something like that) My ears perked up as the car headed down the tunnel into the parking lot, then came the chorus. I'm not gonna write you a love song la la la... That was it, the song was stuck in my head. Its tune and chorus playing again and again.

However, though most songs that get stuck in your head are annoying and extremely difficult to get rid off. (I sing them really loud to get them out of my brain, try doing that in Justin Tim's voice.) I really liked her song! It gave me this light and slightly happy feeling. Yeap, Love song from Sarah Bareilles.