No Place For Woman!

The kitchen is no place for a woman! 

Feminists are fearsome creatures. In fact, they were always the crack battalion of troops of ancient civilizations. They could run, jump, kill, batter their eyelashes and decimate all who stood in their way. If the legions and cohorts of men armed up to their eyeballs found themselves in a a desperate situation, a desperate call was made to 1-800-Amaz-ons with weap-ons. Don't believe me? Go watch some movies! Cause Hollywood is always right. 

Whenever I think of feminists, I think of a horde of bulging Hildas on steroids and Harleys. Viking-like in their mannerisms and terrifying with their war chants. Upon stumbling upon a male who dared to make a particularly chauvinistic remark or action such as opening a door for a lady; ( 0h woe!) they would immediately rip their off their bras (an evil symbol of male domination) and batter the hapless man on pathetic noggin till he bleeds.

A long time ago, a wise man who made an unwise comment while eating his wife's cooking, once said: hell hath no fury then a woman scorn'd. Indeed. Men think they are so strong, with their muscles and ability to think logically. Bah I say. If men were so strong, and smart, why on earth do they need to ask their moms' or wives' permission to do anything?!

Thus, the kitchen is no place for a woman! Imagine if a woman were to be given knives to handle. Not merely that, pots and pats and all manner of sharpened cutlery. True, they might be tools of culinary trade; however, in the lethal hands of an angered woman. Such metallic articles could well become the instruments of torturous death ! The terror of having your heart suddenly dug out by a blunt spoon by a berserking female would be a debilitating, forcing men all around the world to watch their words. Imagine knives flying about at the speed of sound, slicing noses, ears, and mouths off! Fear and terror, unforgettable,unimaginable unadulterated inundated unanundunanunuted pain and suffering would reign! Boiling water would scorch male flesh!  Eyeballs dragged from their sockets with toothpicks!

No no no... keep women out of kitchens. Men make better chefs anyway. (hee hee)