How to Hit on GIrls.

1) Look them in the eye

2) The best pick up line in the world is not, aloha, ola or boo. The best, of the entire lot are hey or hi. 

3) Ensure you have great body hygiene for girls often put of by eau de eww. Actually, thats just for me. I dislike smells. 

4)  Get a suit and suit up. That sounds very Barney Stinson, I know, however, a suit is a beautiful thing nonetheless! The cut of a suit is manufactured perfectly for the male body, accentuating the boxes and squares where there should be boxes and squares. Suits are sexy, ties are dapper and black shoes elegant, making them my clothing of choice. A man in a suit is like a macbook; beautiful on the outside, hardcore on the inside. Suits were made by men for men. Sexist you may think? Since when have you ever seen or heard a Joanne's Suits for Men? 

However, by suit I'd also mean something you think might attract the better of the sexes. Its common sense not to wear your shameless, "10 reasons why beers are better than women" shirt to a feminist rally. 

5) Choose your class! Hitting on any Joan, Ling Pei or Kurnakovana will not do wonders for you. If you are a considerably dapper individual who has a certain leaning towards the proper usage of the english language, for common sense's sake. Please don't go for a english impaired female (lalas, whatever, you get what I'm on about). I beg of you. There you will be running your mouth with the most polished of the queen's english and there she will be; wondering where they made arrogant, incomprehensible buttocks like you. 

Its the same if you're a man of many colors (I had to find a more polite term for lala), please don't try anything with that lady in a simple suit walking out of a library. Chances are she'll think you're a blubbering nitwit. 

Choose wisely and carefully. Lions to meat and rhinos to grass. 

6) If you have nothing nice to say, chances are you probably shouldn't be talking to her as a relationship won't go anywhere. No happily married man has nothing nice to say to his wife on their first date. 

 

4) Here's a guide on what to say. Match it according to your needs.

 First:Hi or Hey.

Second: I noticed that you had, I never knew that, What's your, Can I get you a.

Third: any positive adjective. Awesome, great, wonderful, incredible. 

Four: any suitable noun. 

Five: smile confidently and wait to see what her reaction is. If its favourable, please do remember that your success was only made possible by this blog. If not, then you probably did something wrong and you should find another target. 

5) Women are as scared of you as you are of them! Maybe not. Heh heh, if you're scared of them, you're dead sucker. 

6) Pretend everything she says is witty, interesting and funny. Make her feel like she's oh so interesting. "Jo, you're such a deceiving piece of fungus," you might say. However, once she's someone special in your life, and all those dull, boring things she says turns into the most charming syllables; then you can tell her that you didn't really listen to what she was saying. Because you were too lost in her eyes to notice anything else. 

7) Small talk is what it is. Small talk. Notice the words "small" its not "intelligent", "passionate" or even "interesting". Its small talk, you don't have to be smart to make small talk, simply comment on something intelligent that she would be interested in. (wink)

8) Remember, girls are girls and they must be treated with respect. Never open the door for her, as this would send out a signal saying that she's a weak, clueless child who is unable to twist a doorknob. Do not pay for her drink as this would imply she's a homeless ragamuffin who can only live thanks to pity from the likes of you. And under any circumstance, never ever compliment her looks. From her point of view, she doesn't need a guy like you to flatter her, she's her own woman, strong and proud. This would immediately repel her right away from you. 

9) Be rude. Cause women like unshaven bad boys. 

10) A wingman is needed to make up stories of your incredible bravery or whatever. 

Disclaimer- The author has never had a girlfriend in his life, has never talked to a girl without experiencing acute shock and suffers from severe gynophobia. Follow "How to Hit on Girls" at your own risk.